#ily

This is simple.

Life is to good w/ you.

Running through the wind,

we swallow up the moments like first timers.

The cracks of the past settling into grooves,

and handwriting dripping with I love you.

The girl said she liked us. Together.

I keep the volume up to hear your voice.

You ask just to make sure, hoping you make me happy,

when seeing you shocks my eyes.

Kissing slow because fast causes problems. 

And hitting a home run is easier then I thought.

My mom worries I'm growing up.

Parents tend to be right.

Staring into souls with a touch that moves mountains, 

buying strawberry yogurt changed my life.

The line at Walmart to short.

11:30 coming to soon.

And 24 hours is to long of a wait.

ily

Rainstorms

We won the battle but the trophy is theirs

Walks of the loss dig into my brain

Clenched fists around my wrists

The way your jaw line connects the thoughts and feelings makes me want to faint

I watch lips moving in slow motion

Hearing nothing but the rhythm of your heart 

Seeing nothing but the display of a motionless mind

Your presentation an automatic A

Overlapping words with intentions of pulling on emotions

And it works

But how can I be tied to you when we're not together

I feel your depression love 

Sadness runs through my veins 

Stomach drops just thinking how you feel worse

My body feels dead 

Heart beat flat lined because yours is

My body is dead.

You jumped off a cliff and I came 

Attached by a rope I didn't know I grabbed onto

Boys are supposed to have back bones but I took yours

Girls are suppose to have a comfort button but I can't find the words

I'm free falling.

I'm free falling.

I'm free falling.

We're under the same rainstorm love

So please, let me give you my umbrella

Keys and Locks

laughter trickles out like rain on a smooth window.

smiles to big for the usual thursday evening.

they told her stories of this, of the days when nothing and no one mattered, but him.

she was skeptical back then.

scared.

no one can touch me, think of me, & want me that much.

no way.

so she wandered.

a wanderer in a wind stormed forest, with her heart locked in a box.

the key hidden,

she held that heart box close, not letting anyone within 30 feet.

many pleaded for the key.

pulling, tripping, and demanding to open the box.

only making it worse.

so she ran.

wandered even farther into the forest,

spent on being content with herself and the heart locked box.

watching from afar as the happiness exploded.

scared.

memories of commanded feelings taking over her motionless mind.

he found her on a good day.

sun out, box out for cleansing.

yet he didn't ask to see it,

beg for the key, or push for an explanation.

simply waited, and watched.

slowly breaking down the wall.

eventually letting him in.

feeling the rush of electricity flow through her veins as his touch became more real.

i have never felt this way, she thought.

missing out on a whole new world all this time.

no wonder people fell so fast into it.

into love.

yearning for the chance to feel the feeling they once had.

she understood now.

so completely and utterly happy.

he makes her good.

pulls feelings out of her box like its nothing.

how can someone be the best and worst decision of her life?

both reaching for the key.

she gets there first, hands trembling, throat dry, he stares at her with pleading eyes.

she's ready.

handing over the key for the first time.

he opens the box carefully to see the fragile heart he loves so much.

here is the key to my heart and me.

because I am so in love with you.

yoU

you are the distraction from the reality of my own depression.

nine : forty one

it's 9:41 pm.

Let's pretend.

let's pretend all our wounds have faded

and today's despair is someone's hope tomorrow.

love doesn't make you blind.

life is a joke.

and the man in front of me at the checkout line doesn't cry every night 
because his wife buried herself in a box underground by the old oak tree.

let's pretend I don't like swing sets.

the grass is greener today.

and my life is horrible.

My dad isn't effected from what happened 30 years ago.

bugs are an essential part of life.

school teaches you how to be a better person,

 raise a family, and make the 2 decisions that will determine your happiness.

My first grade best friend is happy with who she is.

Jello is good.

and laughing cures cancer.

Let's pretend money doesn't determine happiness.
rules are meant to be broken.
rain means heaven is crying.
Siri can guide you through life
And the weather determines the mood of mankind.

Let's pretend boys know what girls want.

Let's pretend girls aren't easy.

Let's pretend kissing you isn't the best thing that ever happened to me.
and his touch heals my soul.

Let's not pretend anymore.
Because loving you is the realist thing I have ever felt.
And when you find something real in this world you have to hold it tightly against your body so it doesn't fly away.

So please let's stop because one day we're all gonna explode of falseness.

just love.

but never say love is like anything.

because you would be pretending to know that.

Re-My Love

your face? syrup & honey.

your smile so sweet I can taste the sugar.

your body on mine.

lips intertwined.

timeless.

no amount of persuading could make me leave.

I remember when all she could talk about was him.

now all I can think about is you.

you hit me like a flash flood.

not enough time for warning.

my wings not yet ready for flying.
still I fell freely into your strong arms ready for catching.

the world stopped its spin.

people watch to see us dance through a song that's never been sung.

see if our steps match up.

you are a beautiful dancer.

bodies aligned.

hands pulling.

there is not enough hours in 1999 to make enough time for you.

I swear I checked my watch five minutes ago but it's already been 2 days.

I have you on replay.

a song that is never overplayed.

a movie that you can never quite understand.

a book. that no matter how many times you read it, the words seem new.

I've never met someone so persuading.

one look and I'm in.

tell me to drop what I'm doing and I will.

your gravity stronger than a million earths.
pulling me in slowly as if the rope might snap from the tension between us.

I hit you like a tsunami.
body limp from the rush.
if you ask me I'll let you drown.
but my air has more flavor then life itself.

i don't want to be desperate.

maybe this isn't called desperate but something else.

something that makes me full.

full on conversation and sugar lips.

you make me happy.

so believe me when I say, I won't forget this.

I can't forget you.

MASK

masks are "essential" to life.

part of the daily human routine.

wake up, put on an I'm-the-perfect-child mask.

go to school with an I'm-cooler-than-everyone-and-don't-need-to-learn mask.

I see my best friend from second grade and somehow the I-miss-you-so-much mask comes on.

a whole closet full from no store in particular.

some hand made.  sewing in confusion with each stitch.

confusion of why masks are needed when they only make your face itch, sweat and give you an awkward tan line.

words of being yourself.

concepts of confidence.

talk shows of not letting anyone bring you down happen everyday.

but what about the masks.

I thought you said to wear them at all times.

"keep your words, hearts, and feeling in the vehicle at all time." remember?

well I'm done.

I'm tired of these masks.

I want someone to have my heart.

I want someone to feel my feelings.

I want someone to listen to my words.

So i threw them all away.

I'm showing my own face.

please show yours.

the Tomorow me

I've been at work for a while now.

yesterday me is crying over what I've done.

today me is content but ready for some sleep.

tomorrow me is happy because that's all I can be.

so be tomorrow.

live with the tomorrow you, held out on your sleeve and let it roll down to the palm of your hand,

so when someone comes knocking you can show them your tomorrow.

show them the smile of tomorrow and things you will accomplish.

together look into the eyes that look like galaxies of forever.

reach into tomorrows soul and pull out the goodness of the boy who will make your life a field of daisies and your world a fairytale even when it's not.

because in tomorrow there is hope.

and in hope there is enough joy for eternities.

be tomorrow.

and tomorrow will be yours.

life is meant to be lived, 

as it will be.

screeN savoR

something so small can be the cause of a magnificent paradigm shift.

the realization that the little things matter most.

because simplicity is beautiful.

and my mind is now a field of white hope.

a mountain of smiles.

& seas of happiness.

I trust you now.

I trust you.

- ♡

a cloud called 9.

I opened my door tonight to see you with the face and the hair.

and the magic.

sitting on a cloud they call 9 
my muscles in my cheeks got tired from showing my teeth. 

the thumps in our chests whispering to each other 
in a language I'm not fluent in yet. 

I think it starts with an L.

we talked carefully 
as if we didn't want to disturb the sleeping stars 
or dull the moon.

sitting on the cloud called 9 
the distance between us decreased.  

you teased me until the tension was to much 
and the rubber band snapped.  

suddenly the lips were locked 
and we were high away in never land 
on a cloud called 9. 

your hands finding their way through me, 
we waltzed on and on, 
making the most beautiful music I've ever heard. 

our steps in sync, 
the heat rising, 
the world becoming a blur. 

it was perfect. 

we were invincible in those moments.  

everything falling into place except for the time.

to quickly the song ended and dancing slowed.  
I could see my house now. 

reality coming back as the air between us grew.  
I've never been so disappointed to be home.

let's go high away to never land on the cloud called 9 again soon.

and for now on my door is open.

Tired eyes and Lemon heads.

We both had tired eyes.

Tired eyes from all the lemons of life.

Still we smiled and laughed, watched and wished.

Wished it was just us in that great big room.

Only us always.

So I could look at your face just for the fun of it.  

Look at all the little details that make you, you.

  

You electrify me by one glance.  

By almost doing nothing.

You must be a magician.

Because in that moment when you touched me....my tired eyes suddenly didn't matter and I was 

breathing in all the lemonade there was. 

So please, touch me always. 

Electrify me.

Go ahead b, hit me with all the magic you have.

Heavens Help

Sometimes in life you cry. 

You cry because you're happy.  

You cry because you're sad, 

or you cry for no reason at all.  

Today I am crying for a million reasons, but at the same time only one very small one. 

I can taste the salt as the liquid rolls down my cheek ever so slightly.

My body trembles.

My heart shakes.

My arm limp from the pain.

I would never wish this upon anyone, 

not even the guy who took the girl 4 houses down. 

I can hear the heavens rooting for me.  

Cheers of despair covered by a light layer of hope.

"Let it go" they say.

"Take my hand I can help"

Today I am crying for a million reasons, but at the same time only one very small one.

Colorful Butterflies.

I see you're name on the screen.

 the butterflies come to life inside my stomach breaking out of the cocoons and taking flight 

only to hit the walls with no where to go.

I have felt this many times before, but with you it's different.  

They are different butterflies.  

More colorful.  

Filled with energy and full on a life so pure I think my stomach might explode.

It's a good feeling.  

I yearn for them every day.  

I want to get to know them, for them to become familiar to my body.

And that's the thing, I don't think that is possible.

These butterflies can't be tamed.  Aren't meant to, and that's okay.

I like them the way they are.  

I want more.

But I'm scared, 

and they feel it.  

As the days go on my conscious persuades me to believe something that can't be true. 

Something I won't believe. 

It makes sense though.

Because how could you have the same butterflies as me inside your stomach, 

when you just got rid of the remnants of hers?

I'm scared.

So the butterflies disappear one by one.

They disappear 

at the thought of you walking away.

They disappear

 because "you only want me for satisfaction."

They disappear 

when you'd rather be feeling up metal than feeling up me.

They disappear 

like I lose your attention.

They disappear 

so I stopped counting.

So please hun.  hurry before their wings tire out.

The Island

An island.  So small, so beautiful.

Surrounded by thousands of pounds of water she put there herself.

Tropical trees as green as can be with fruit more ripe and sweet than anything you've ever tasted.  

Yet no one has ever been to this island. 

Never took a bite of the fruit.  

They've seen and they've heard, but for some reason she never gets chosen as the vacation spot.

Tourists never wander her trails and climb what would change their world. 

Boats and fisherman pass by with maybe a glance.

Leaving her alone.

16 years they've known and she's been alone, with no one to share her magnificence with. 

16 years without a single chance to let people feel the soft sand brush your feet when you walk at sunset.

16 years her crystal blue water, warm of happiness and filled with the remnants of extra rainbows, is left untouched.

16 years her high mountains, jagged cliffs, and hidden caves, wait for just one foot print to claim them.

She doesn't feel alone.  She doesn't feel abandoned. 

But unappreciated. Looked over.  Pushed away. 

just unused...

An island.  So small, so beautiful.  

Surrounded by thousands of pounds of water she put there herself, because someone told her "it's better this way".

But it is about to change.