Heavens Help

Sometimes in life you cry. 

You cry because you're happy.  

You cry because you're sad, 

or you cry for no reason at all.  

Today I am crying for a million reasons, but at the same time only one very small one. 

I can taste the salt as the liquid rolls down my cheek ever so slightly.

My body trembles.

My heart shakes.

My arm limp from the pain.

I would never wish this upon anyone, 

not even the guy who took the girl 4 houses down. 

I can hear the heavens rooting for me.  

Cheers of despair covered by a light layer of hope.

"Let it go" they say.

"Take my hand I can help"

Today I am crying for a million reasons, but at the same time only one very small one.

Colorful Butterflies.

I see you're name on the screen.

 the butterflies come to life inside my stomach breaking out of the cocoons and taking flight 

only to hit the walls with no where to go.

I have felt this many times before, but with you it's different.  

They are different butterflies.  

More colorful.  

Filled with energy and full on a life so pure I think my stomach might explode.

It's a good feeling.  

I yearn for them every day.  

I want to get to know them, for them to become familiar to my body.

And that's the thing, I don't think that is possible.

These butterflies can't be tamed.  Aren't meant to, and that's okay.

I like them the way they are.  

I want more.

But I'm scared, 

and they feel it.  

As the days go on my conscious persuades me to believe something that can't be true. 

Something I won't believe. 

It makes sense though.

Because how could you have the same butterflies as me inside your stomach, 

when you just got rid of the remnants of hers?

I'm scared.

So the butterflies disappear one by one.

They disappear 

at the thought of you walking away.

They disappear

 because "you only want me for satisfaction."

They disappear 

when you'd rather be feeling up metal than feeling up me.

They disappear 

like I lose your attention.

They disappear 

so I stopped counting.

So please hun.  hurry before their wings tire out.