Tuesday, June 28, 2016

2am

He was more like the field and the players in it than she thought.
He passes by easily, glancing with that slow cunning smile.
Killing hearts for a living.
Still, she holds her head high with knees buckling underneath her,
and petals of loves me nots in her hand, she says,

"Tomorrow, I will be okay." 




Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Day 2


                                              I hurt you. and me.
            I take responsibility for my actions. 
                                                         but.
                                                                         I wish I could talk to you.
                       Just hear your voice.
                                                And your laugh.


We laughed so well together.

Monday, February 29, 2016

How To Love

My eyes hurt.
You probably hate me.
i deserve it.
The kid didn't know that when he called me you, 
it would started a never ending rainstorm from my eyes.
The parking lot cement was comfy anyways.

school is to much.
A blonde talks me through 1st period.
The Riley's my therapists during 3rd.

My eyes hurt.

Ice cream didn't work.
turkey avocado & swiss reminded me of you.
Tacos made me sick.

My eyes hurt.

my parents questions feel heavy with worry.
my answers are heavy with what feels like regret.

Everything is your memory.

My eyes hurt.

Heart shattering at the thought of your screams.

My eyes hurt.

I ruined our painting.

My eyes hurt.

Couldn't ever figure out How To Love.


It's leap year so soon this day won't exist.
never been happier for something to disappear.
As miserable as it is,
 I would do it a million times over for
you & the 6 months of utter bliss.

Friday, February 12, 2016

h.i.m.

H is for How many times I've fallen in love.
11 times with my dog.
3,478 times with the power of music.
28 times with the smell of dryer sheets.
456 times with rain.
117 times with sugar.
1,026 times with nature.
12,860,032 times with you.

I is for irresistible.
There's no better word to describe it.
As hard as I try you're always in the back of my mind swarming my thoughts.
An illustration of your hands moving down my hip while our lips play tug of war.
It's like I'm an addict. Having withdrawals when you're not with me.
I have your smell memorized. Your heart organized. And your voice analyzed.

M is for Missing you.
I miss you all the time.
Even when your touch is so real I can feel the moisture of your breath against my neck and I'm encircled in your arms...I miss you.
Hmm making waffles sounds nice.
When you go out of town it is the death of me. 
I have half my heart but you took the rest 277 miles away.
I miss you.
Our telepathy and the way we walk in sync doesn't help.
When I go to Walmart with out you I feel uncomfortable.
I miss you.


Sunday, December 13, 2015

#ily

This is simple.
Life is to good w/ you.
Running through the wind,
we swallow up the moments like first timers.
The cracks of the past settling into grooves,
and handwriting dripping with I love you.
The girl said she liked us. Together.
I keep the volume up to hear your voice.
You ask just to make sure, hoping you make me happy,
when seeing you shocks my eyes.
Kissing slow because fast causes problems. 
And hitting a home run is easier then I thought.
My mom worries I'm growing up.
Parents tend to be right.
Staring into souls with a touch that moves mountains, 
buying strawberry yogurt changed my life.

The line at Walmart to short.
11:30 coming to soon.
And 24 hours is to long of a wait.


ily

Friday, November 20, 2015

Rainstorms

We won the battle but the trophy is theirs
Walks of the loss dig into my brain
Clenched fists around my wrists

The way your jaw line connects the thoughts and feelings makes me want to faint
I watch lips moving in slow motion
Hearing nothing but the rhythm of your heart 
Seeing nothing but the display of a motionless mind
Your presentation an automatic A

Overlapping words with intentions of pulling on emotions

And it works

But how can I be tied to you when we're not together


I feel your depression love 
Sadness runs through my veins 
Stomach drops just thinking how you feel worse

My body feels dead 
Heart beat flat lined because yours is
My body is dead.

You jumped off a cliff and I came 
Attached by a rope I didn't know I grabbed onto

Boys are supposed to have back bones but I took yours
Girls are suppose to have a comfort button but I can't find the words

I'm free falling.
I'm free falling.
I'm free falling.

We're under the same rainstorm love
So please, let me give you my umbrella

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Keys and Locks

laughter trickles out like rain on a smooth window.
smiles to big for the usual thursday evening.
they told her stories of this, of the days when nothing and no one mattered, but him.
she was skeptical back then.
scared.
no one can touch me, think of me, & want me that much.
no way.
so she wandered.
a wanderer in a wind stormed forest, with her heart locked in a box.
the key hidden,
she held that heart box close, not letting anyone within 30 feet.
many pleaded for the key.
pulling, tripping, and demanding to open the box.
only making it worse.


so she ran.
wandered even farther into the forest,
spent on being content with herself and the heart locked box.
watching from afar as the happiness exploded.
scared.
memories of commanded feelings taking over her motionless mind.

he found her on a good day.
sun out, box out for cleansing.
yet he didn't ask to see it,
beg for the key, or push for an explanation.
simply waited, and watched.
slowly breaking down the wall.

eventually letting him in.
feeling the rush of electricity flow through her veins as his touch became more real.
i have never felt this way, she thought.
missing out on a whole new world all this time.

no wonder people fell so fast into it.
into love.
yearning for the chance to feel the feeling they once had.

she understood now.
so completely and utterly happy.

he makes her good.
pulls feelings out of her box like its nothing.

how can someone be the best and worst decision of her life?




both reaching for the key.
she gets there first, hands trembling, throat dry, he stares at her with pleading eyes.

she's ready.
handing over the key for the first time.
he opens the box carefully to see the fragile heart he loves so much.

here is the key to my heart and me.

because I am so in love with you.